Thinking Therapy: Your Thoughts Will Lead You When Having Anxiety And Depression

Discovering twisted thinking
Being self-judgmental
Casting blame on others

How you think about an event determines the way you feel. This is the premise of the principles of cognitive therapy. We all experience distorted thinking, where you’re thinking doesn’t accurately reflect what is going on. Distorted thinking can be positive or negative and is a problem when it leads to depression and anxiety. These distortions are called reality jumblers. There are three types of reality jumblers.

The Information Reality Jumblers
The Self-Judging Reality Jumblers
The Self-Blame Reality Jumblers

The Information Reality Jumblers

Information Reality Jumblers distort your perceptions of your world. They affect your thinking. An example would be someone whom is depressed receiving an average review from their boss. They are likely to dramatize this event until they feel utterly worthless as a person. The Information Reality Jumbler is called dramatizing. Without the jumbler, the reality is that his performance was average even though they would have preferred a much higher rating.

The following exercise exemplifies various way that Information Reality Jumblers can affect your thinking and the way you feel. Read the descriptions and examples of each type of Information Reality Jumbler. Think about when your own thoughts might have been influenced by the Jumbler. Reflect and record any specific examples that you’ve had that might be distorted by an Information Reality Jumbler.

Information Reality Jumbler Exercise

Dramatizing: Your mind exaggerates the awfulness of unpleasant events while also minimizing the value and important of anything positive about yourself. For example, one may think, “It’s horrible that we have to work 4 extra hours tonight. I just can’t stand this job!” Truth is, although you may not feel like working an additional 4 hours, it definitely fails in comparison to more straining events like being diagnosed with serious health problems.
Separating: Your mind searches for frightening information while filtering out more positive information. For example, you are rated highly in a performance evaluation in several areas but one, which is an average rating. Your mind focuses exclusively on that rating instead of the several positive ones and concludes that the entire evaluation was mediocre.
Construed Viewings: Your mind views events in an all or nothing fashion. Where a single performance out of several indicates failure. Your mind sets you up for disappointment and self-abuse.
Discarding Evidence: Your mind dismisses evidence that may negate its negative thoughts. For example, you’re preparing a proposal you have to present before the President of Operations at work have a thought that you will be so scared you won’t be able to speak. Your mind automatically discards that fact that you’ve given countless presentations before and never been so afraid that you couldn’t talk.
Over Generalizing: You take a single occurrence that is unpleasant and your mind decides that it represents a general trend. For example, a teach tells a student in an angry tone that he is always late, but in reality he is only late about 10 percent of the time.
Over Analyzing: Your mind analyzes every detail of an event in your world no matter how insignificant it maybe. For example, you walk into a room and everyone stops talking, you automatically think “they were talking about me. Was it something I said? Or something I did?” In reality, three co-workers were talking privately about your birthday plans.
Emotional Reasoning: You treat your feelings as facts, and heed to them immediately without giving yourself time to go through any motions or inquire within yourself as to why you feel this way. For example you feel guilty and conclude that you must have done something wrong
Unreliable Predicting: You presume an outcome will be negative without any real evidence or reasoning. You get into an argument and become convinced that the relationship will end.

Tracking Information Reality Jumblers on Thought Trackers

Recording your thoughts and checking for distortions in them helps clear your thinking and improves your mood. Here’s a sample a tracking Information Reality Jumblers in a Thought Tracker.

Feelings and Sensations (Rated 1–100)

Corresponding Events

Thoughts and Interpretations

Information Reality Jumbler

Hopeless (70); anxious(65); tightness in chest

My boss said we need to increase productivity

I really hate this job. My boss must really hate me. It will never get better. How am I supposed to achieve this when I was already having a hard time keeping up before?

Dramatizing; construed viewings; over analyzing ; unreliable predicting; over generalizing

Sad (75); overwhelming fatigue

The realtor said we didn’t get the house but that we could get a good deal on another one

I’ll never find a deal that good. Things like this just never work out for me.

Over generalizing; overanalyzing; discarding evidence

Now it’s time to see if you can recognize the Information Reality Jumblers in different situations. Review the feelings, events and thoughts of those events provided and fill in the Information Reality Jumblers that you believe apply. The answers will be provided afterwards.

Scenario	Feelings and Sensations (Rated 1–100)	Corresponding Events	Thoughts and Interpretations	Information Reality Jumbler
1	Miserable (65); embarrassed (75); tired	My wife said I’ve gained a little weight	It’s true. I’ve let myself go. I’ll probably die of a heart attack. I feel out of control so I must not have any will power at all.
2	Apprehensive (70); foggy, tense	I was promoted.	My boss is out to get me. He is setting me up for failure. I’ll get more money but the only reason I got the promotion was because no one else wanted it.
3	Bitter (80); gloomy (65); tightening muscles; back pain	Some jerk keyed my car.	This is going to cost me a fortune. This kind of thing is always happening to me.

Here are the answers to the Thought Tracker above. The point of this exercise was to learn to observe distortions so don’t worry if your answers don’t match up perfectly.

Scenario 1: Dramatizing, unreliable predicting, construed viewings, emotional reasoning
Scenario 2: Discarding the evidence, over analyzing, separating
Scenario 3: Dramatizing, over generalizing, unreliable predicting

Track your own thoughts and look for possible Information Reality Jumblers. Take time to reflect afterwards.

Feelings and Sensations (Rated 1–100)	Corresponding Events	Thoughts and Interpretations	Information Reality Jumbler

The purpose of this exercise is to invoke a process that will have you question whether or not your thoughts about events are always accurate and the possibility of seeing things differently. Hopefully, your way of thinking is beginning to shake up and the path to feeling better can already be felt.

The Self Judging Reality Jumblers

The Self Judging Reality Jumblers twist the way you view yourself and behaviors. Those whom are depressed and anxious tend to be judgmental and self-abusive. Being judgmental becomes a problem because it is a form of self-sabotage. Self-criticisms make you feel worse and leave you with less energy for change. Self Judging Reality Jumblers come in three different forms:

Shoulds
Crucial Comparisons
Offensive Labels

Shoulding Yourself

Shoulding refers to putting yourself down by thinking that you should be or act different. Shoulding jumbles up self views and turn them into self criticisms.

Identify your own should and take the following quiz:

The Shoulding on yourself Quiz

❏	1.	I should be a better person.
❏	2.	I should have known better.
❏	3.	I shouldn’t eat so much.
❏	4.	I shouldn’t have distorted thoughts.
❏	5.	I should be more careful.
❏	6.	I shouldn’t be so crabby.
❏	7.	I shouldn’t make so many mistakes.
❏	8.	I should be nicer to people.
❏	9.	I should exercise more.
❏	10.	I shouldn’t get so upset.

Shoulding makes you feel bad because of guilt and doesn’t elicit positive behavior. Substitute shoulding with refusing to engage in harsh self judgment. Refer to the sample below. These shoulding statements are an example of how to change them into a healthier alternative.

Should Statement	Should Alternative Statement
I shouldn’t get upset so often.	I wish I didn’t get upset so often, but I do. And I’m trying to master relaxation as an alternative.
I shouldn’t get in bad moods so often.	I don’t like bad moods, but they’re tough to change. I do want to work on them, but I don’t need to pummel myself when they happen.
I shouldn’t let myself get out of shape.	I would prefer to get into better shape. It’s difficult to find the time to exercise. I’ll try to make more time for taking care of myself.
I should spend more time on the exercises in this workbook.	I do want to spend more time on these exercises, but every bit that I do is worth something.
I shouldn’t make mistakes.	I prefer not to make mistakes, but I’m only human, after all.

Learning to see the alternative to shoulding on yourself is definitely key to feeling better. Fill out the following Should Alternative exercise. Make sure to you tune into what you tell yourself when you feel upset and listen for the should and shouldn’ts you tell yourself. Come up with an alternative for each of these.

Make Crucial Comparisons

We are all different, so we all have different strengths and weakness. Even if you are the best at something, doesn’t make you the best at everything. However, as imperfect human beings we all tend to compare ourselves to others at times in our lives. Anxious and depressed people tend to judge themselves much more negatively and place value on those comparisons.

Try to identify your negative personal comparison by completing the following Crucial Comparison Quiz.

Critical Comparison Quiz

❏ Wealth and Financials

❏ Appearances

❏ Being intelligent

❏ Being popular

❏ Having Fame

❏ Guys and gadgets

❏ The House

❏ Cars

❏ Clothing and appearance

❏ Status Quo

❏ Your age

❏ Innate Knowledge

The main thing to keep in mind is to not compare everything in your life. The fewer items you compare, the greater the chance you will be well adapted. You may fail victim to the seductive wiles of the comparisons you make. There is also the truth of the situation that also comes into play. Wherever you go, there will be someone more attractive, richer, or smarter than you. You can’t help make these comparisons. What you can do is prevent yourself from thinking yourself not good enough because someone else may have it better than you.

There are other alternatives than making those terrible comparisons. Lets find ways to create alternative examples to combat those critical comparisons.

Comparison Alternative Exercise

*Critical Comparison*	*Comparison Alternative*
Several of my friends have done better in their professional lives..	I may not be as successful professionally, however spending quality time with friends and family has been important.
Having been to the party for the Superbowl, I saw that huge plasma large screen TV. Man, I am so jealous.	If I stop to think about it, I don’t really watch too much television so the one I have is pretty good.
When I went to workout, I saw guys with more muscles than I do.	I have been working out and I am better fit than I was just a little bit ago. I also know, many people that aren’t in shape don’t go to the gym.
I just looked at my retirement fund. I don’t have as much money put away as many of my friends.	Having children was not as inexpensive as many people think. Having my children is an amazing thing and I would not change it for anything.

Once you see this sample Alternative Exercise, it is possible to effectively create one of your own. If you look into you’re your emotions, quickly examine your thoughts and try to find times when you begin to critically compare yourself to others. These are the thoughts you list in the left hand column. Once you have those listed, you can then create effective thoughts to overcome those critical thoughts. You must be able to recognize that you may be average, normal, above average, or even below average at many points within your life. Find those areas where you excel and keep those thoughts at the top of your thought processes. Make sure to prioritize your thoughts and accept your weaknesses.

Losing the labels you give yourself

We hear the children’s’ mantra that “sticks and stones may break your bones”, however, what most people fail to recognize is that what is said can make a more dramatic impact than you know. Most people when faced with anxiety or depression fall into the trap of name calling and self-deprecation. When you begin this process, you begin to make things much worse for you.

Labeling Quiz

Miserable

Misfit

Freakish

Klutzy

Dork

Idiot

Stupid

Dumb

Silly

Imbecile

Fat

Terrible

This type of labeling makes you less than you are. The attempts to create a simple statement about who you are without caring about making simple black versus white comparisons are futile and self-defeating. They cannot help you to move forward and in fact, they lead to additional emotional impact. Use the following label worksheet to battle those labels.

My Label Replacement Exercise

*Event*	*Corresponding Label*	*Label Replacement* Thought**
My mind went blank and I couldn’t remember my speech for school	How could I be so stupid and such a loser.	I knew my stuff and know how important it is to me. I can get a bit nervous. I shouldn’t but I did. I am not a loser.
My food was dropped in front of people.	I just can’t believe how clumsy I am.	People drop food and things all the time. It was not a big thing.
I became really emotional when I talked about my dog’s death.	Why do I have to be such a baby.	It was an emotional event. It is okay to show emotion.
I tried to go to Yale. I didn’t get in.	I am just not smart enough.	Well, I have my college degree. I am in a good graduate school. I will be successful.
I am very overweight. I just can’t lose this weight.	I am a glutton and a fat obnoxious pig.	My age prevents me from losing weight as easily. I don’t like my weight, but I am trying. This doesn’t make me a pig.

As you begin to move away from name calling, you will begin to move forward into a healthier point of view. Use the following exercise to help you move away from those labels. When you find yourself in an emotional turmoil, listen for those hurtful names. Record the event that triggered the name calling, list the label, and then find one thought that can combat that label.

When you have completed the exercise, use the self reflection chart to talk about your findings.

Scrambling the Self Blame

If you find yourself in an atmosphere anxiety and depression, you may begin to add find additional stress place upon you by you. Detailing yourself to be totally incapable of action or smart enough to prevent you from making mistakes. If you begin to use the process of self-blame scrambling, you place all the fault onto yourself. This begins to lead down the road to self-loathing.

In the following Responsibility Exercise, you will begin to see that the problems you have are not the fault of yourself completely. You will be able to minimize the impact of those problems.

In this sample exercise, we will assume the following:

Joyce is distraught her husband left her for another woman just before their divorce. The thoughts she believes are she is not attractive, is not exciting, and not smart enough to know her husband was cheating. These are the results of this exercise.

Rating Responsibility Exercise

I blame myself for: The Recent Divorce

I rate the blame at: 90%

*The Causes of your Problem*	*What percentage and who*
My husband looked at other women.	10% His eye did wander
The level of hostility to my husband	15% He was and is difficult.
Diana plotted to steal him from me.	20% She tried for months to get him.
Financial burdens in our life	10% We were over extended.
My husband lost his family members (deaths of his mother and father and then brother).	10% He could not compensate for their loss.
Our daughter struggled with cancer. With a recovery, he still worries.	10 He could not talk to me about it.
I gained weight over the time of our marriage.	5% I need to lose some weight.
My husband was able to find a woman more attractive.	5% I am still very good looking, even at my age.

*The Causes of* Your *Problem*	*What Percentage and who*
There was no more “us” communication..	10% I should have paid more attention to us.
Life’s random events.	5% There has to be some events I could not control.

By assigning nearly all of the blame on yourself for this situation, our sample person has essentially created a downward spiral of depression. Through this exercise, this person should be able to reevaluate things a bit more critically and objectively. By the time everything is through, this person might be able to recognize only 20% may be her responsibility. This eye opening affirmation helps to reduce the guilt and self-blame.

Use the following diagrams to evaluate one area of your life that you may feel responsible for.

Make sure to:

Name the problem at the top of the worksheet
Assign a percentage of blame to yourself at the top of the worksheet
List all potential causes in the left hand column
List the percentage of blame for each cause in the right hand column
Rerate your blame at the end of the exercise.

______________________________________________________________________________

Rating Responsibility Chart

I take the blame for :___________________________________________________________

I rate the blame at:_____________________________________________________________

The causes of your problem	What Percentage and who

After doing this exercise, I re-rate my responsibility at:__________________________________

What have you done to solve the problem

This is the place where you take action to change the problem. You have already assessed the level of responsibility for your problem and made some ideas about what to do with this problem. Through this process, you have been able to remove the blame from yourself and possibly learned that you can love yourself in the future. Here we will show you how to take the responsibility for taking a portion of the problem and learn what not to do if future events.

The subject above does have some responsibility for the mentioned divorce. What follows is the level of responsibility she has a nd her strategy to overcome those.

What did I do to cause the problem	The strategy to overcome those contributions
I have gained at least 10 pounds.	I will increase my exercise and watch my diet. The divorce will remain, but I may feel better about myself and these events.
I am not the most beautiful women in the world.	I know I can take care of my body, take care in how I look and what I wear. I want a person who will love me for who I am, not what I appear to be.
I helped to bring about poor communication in the marriage.	When I find another relationship, I will pay attention to how we talk, what we say, and approach problems together.

What follows is your call to action with the action strategy worksheet.