Obstacles that Overwhelm From Anxiety And Depression

• Barriers that block change
• Breaking down beliefs
• Discovering self- ruin
• Destroying self-ruin

No one wants to be depressed or anxious. You may feel as if there is no other way. Wanting to do something about your distress is different than knowing what to do about your distress. What is stopping you are the many obstacles located within your own mind.

This will help you uncover assumption or beliefs you have making it hard to overcome your depression or anxiety. Once these barriers are identified, it becomes easier to use tools, one tool specifically, to isolate those barriers. Self-awareness will determine if you are sabotaging your attempts at recovery.

Barriers that Block

You may be one of many people that hang onto beliefs that prevent you from changing. Change can be frightening for many. If you have fallen victim to the blame game don’t worry, you can quite easily overcome the varied obstacles preventing your moving forward. These thoughts keep you from maintaining a motivated spirit that stimulates change.

Look for the quizzes in this section to see if you have any change-blocking barriers in your life. It is hoped you will be able to find some exercises to assist you removing barriers and beliefs that will promote an honest appraisal of yourself.

What stands in your way

Resistance to change results from fear, feelings of inadequacy, and an inability to overcome the emotion of helplessness. It is possible you may not recognize these beliefs and as such find yourself trapped without the potential to change.

Fear Change Quiz

1. If I take a risk, I will fail.
2. If I reach out to others, I will be rejected.
3. Whenever I try something new, I screw it up.
4. When I get my hopes up, I am disappointed.
5. If I work on my problems, I will fail.
6. I would rather not try than fail.
7. I will never be a success.
8. I am too anxious and depressed to achieve.

Undeserving Quiz

1. I do not deserve to be happy.
2. I don’t expect much from my life.
3. I feel less worthy than other people.
4. If I ask for help, I feel guilty so I don’t ask.
5. There is something seriously wrong with me; this is why I am distressed.
6. I do not believe I am as good as other people.
7. I am very uncomfortable if people are nice to me.
8. Other people deserve more than I do.

Unjust Quiz

1. I can easily dwell on how unfair life has been to me.
2. I feel very helpless when I deal with my plight.
3. I can’t stop thinking about how I have been mistreated.
4. I am angry about all the bad things that happen to me.
5. No one can understand how difficult life has been for me.
6. Anyone who had my life would complain.
7. No one could appreciate how much I have suffered.
8. If I make changes to my problems,  the value of the trauma of my life is meaningless.

To grade these quizzes use the following scale:

If more than two items are checked in the Fear Change Quiz, you exhibit fear at the thought of changing. If you checked two or more items from the Underserving Quiz, you can’t believe the good things that could come to you if you change. If you check two or more on the Unjust quiz, you are unable to locate the resources needed to make the changes needed. On the chance you find two or more checks on two or more quizzes, you will need to evaluate your belief system in more detail.

Typically, these types of thought patterns are typically based upon childhood events or traumatic events that happen during your life time. Some of the change-blocking beliefs do have a ring of truth to them:

• Life is unfair
• It is reasonable to sometimes be angry
• You will not always succeed.

Remember people have the right to be happy-this includes you as well. You only have to push the bad things in your life away from you to succeed. Moving away from the traumatic events you may have suffered does not make them any less important or valuable to who you are. Moving past those events can only make you stronger.

 An example:

Jasmine a woman with three children finds herself worrying constantly. She remembers the sexual abuse from one of her babysitters. Today, she is an overprotective parent. Recent events have left her wanting more sleep. Her youngest child has been symptomatic with asthma. Jasmine has been listening to the child at night. If her middle child is late from the school bus, panic sets in. The child who is living as an exchange student does not call as often as she would like, therefore she believes him a victim of kidnapping or other foul play. As a result of all this, Jasmine’s doctor fears for her health. Jasmine decides to try monitoring her blood pressure by focusing on her stressors and anxiety.  Looking through the quizzes from this section, Jasmine discovers some barriers to change. She completes the Changing Beliefs Summary.

Changing Beliefs Summary

1. Whenever I try something different, I always screw up.
2. If I get my hopes up, I am disappointed.
3. If I ask for help, I feel guilty so I don’t.

Jasmine moves toward writing her reflections.

I have many change-blocking barriers. I just thought this was the way my life was. I see my beliefs may get in the way of doing something about correcting my problems. But what should I do?

Next Jasmine moves towards what she could do to correct her problems. First, you should try your own Changing Beliefs Summary worksheet.

My Top Three Change-Blocking Beliefs Summary

1.

2.

3.

The next step you should do is documenting your reflections.

My Reflections

Moving through these exercises should help you create an idea of what beliefs may be impeding your forward movement. If you have tried to change but failed, one of the identified beliefs above may be the reason why. Remember, you just can’t take your beliefs and toss them out the door. You must embrace them and recognize they no longer control your actions.

If you desire to make this step, you must be able to see the limits to change your assumptions create. If you are just now finding these beliefs, you will gradually learn more about how to overcome the negatives and understand how the positives can benefit you.

Our sample person, Jasmine, now takes the time to fill out the Advantages and Disadvantages Form to be able to completely and fully understand your barriers to change. She writes down how her beliefs make her life feel better followed by describing how they detract from her ability to move past her depression and anxiety. Jasmine correlates this information into a summary for each of her top three barriers.

Jasmine’s Advantages and Disadvantages Form

Change-Blocking Belief  #1: If I try new things, I fail.

Change-Blocking Belief  #2: If I ask for help, I feel guilty so I don’t.

Jasmine reflects back on these Advantages and Disadvantages.

I realize even not trying is a failure, therefore this is not positive. Change does take work but right now I am very miserable anyway; I must make the effort. As I help others, I feel better. So why would I begrudge someone the good feeling of helping me? A little help could go a long way. I hate being stuck.

These assumptions cause her to remain in limbo and prevent her from changing. These completed exercises can help her start going forward.

It is time for you to make this list.

My Advantages and Disadvantages Form

Change-Blocking Belief #1:                                                                                                                           

Advantages of This Belief                                       Disadvantages of This Belief

Change-Blocking Belief #2:                                                                                                                           

Advantages of This Belief                                       Disadvantages of This Belief

Change-Blocking Belief #3:                                                                                                                           

Advantages of This Belief                                       Disadvantages of This Belief