- Making serious thoughts
- Feelings and affirming them
- Connecting to the present
Monitor your breathing right now. What is the feeling and sensation you have about this simple task. Slowly breath in and release the air through your mouth and nose. What are you thinking? Just focus on breathing.
Mindfulness is the action of being aware of what happens NOW without any time taken to consider, judge, analyze, or reason about what happens. You should not take any time to think about what exists. This is a process that allows you to be patient and tolerant as you experience the “now” without fighting back. You will learn how to accept your personal thoughts and feelings in this review.
Have you lost your mind?
You are much different than your mind. Would you agree with this? You might consider this to be confusing or think this is just plain stupid. Just go with the flow and examine what we will discuss.
Evaluation versus Observation
As we already did, again sit down and just wait to see what thoughts come to mind. Whatever it is, consider this: besides you, did anyone else see or hear that thought? The distinction in this can be complex. Your mind had the thought, but only you knew the thought. You are different than your mind in this respect.
Here is another exercise for you to consider that will help you make meaningful connections. Here are some basic thoughts about the room we are in right now typing this section.
- There are papers everywhere. I can’t believe the mess.
- Can I stay here and be comfortable? Can I relax here?
- How could I just sit here in one spot and think?
- What am I doing writing this? Is it worthwhile?
- My kids are going to bed. I’m tired too. I have to stay up.
- I want to buy that new computer.
- Where did my coffee cup go?
How many of these thoughts are critical or judgmental. The process of not being critical is difficult, however, it is needed so you can experience the world around you.
This is the sample I should concentrate on:
The gentle swaying of the trees brings out a simple swooshing of leaves. The little chirps of the birds in the yard echo in the stillness of the day, melding with the leaves movement. You can hear faintly a small dog barking in the distance. My kids are laughing in the next room, having fun and enjoying themselves. My desk is cluttered but neat and everything is where I can find it. The computer I have running is quiet and functional. The monitor has a great resolution, and I am getting my work done.
The first exercise did take something out of us. We felt powerless and out of control. If we just listened to the world without judgement, the impact was quite peaceful. There is a three part exercise that can be done to help you make it through this process.
These are the instructions:
- Sit and look at things around you.
- Find something negative in what you see.
- Write down each critical thought you have come to mind.
- Notice how you feel when you are done and record those feelings.
Critical Mind Exercise
| Critical Thoughts |
| 1. |
| 2. |
| 3. |
| 4. |
| 5. |
| 6. |
| 7. |
| 8. |
| 9. |
| 10. |
The feelings after writing critical thoughts:
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In this next step, look around one more time without making any critical observations.
- Just follow your senses and make sure to use your senses. Just describe the experience without format.
- Notice how you feel. Record this.
- Reflect on this exercise.
Observations on the state of mind
Observations, sensations, and experiences:
________________________________________________________________________________
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Feelings after writing observations and experiences:
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
My reflections
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The concept of mind clutter: tuning it in and out
With a depressed or anxious mind, your mind will have lots to chatter about. This is usually a set towards judging, evaluating, or creating harsh thoughts about yourself. This can be a very dangerous, if not toxic event. The thoughts that come to mind quickly are:
- I’m not good enough
- I can’t do it
- I make too many mistakes
- She won’t go out with me
- I could cry if it hurts
- I think I’ll get sick
- People will think I am fake
- No one likes me
- I always fail at new things
When you have thoughts like this, you need to learn how to turn them off or tune them out. This can help.
- Listen to the chatter.
- In the worksheet below, record the comments that come to mind.
- Think of a good friend and insert their name into the chatter. If you think people don’t like you, make it People don’t like you John.
- Can you tell your good friend John the thoughts from step 3? You would not say that to a good friend, would you?
Mind Chatter Tuner
| Mind Chatter | Mind Chatter to a friend |
My reflections
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This is an exercise that will help you treat yourself as good as you do your friends. You should be one of your best friends.
Mind Chatter Games
The discussion we had earlier taught us that thoughts and beliefs have an emotional component that can be distorted and twisted against us. If you need to review how to break those thoughts or beliefs, go back to those pages.
The need to battle those thoughts is present. You need to learn how to wage that battle for a successful war. This should be built upon preventing these thoughts from gaining the necessary ammunition to begin the war.
In the example below, you should consider the individual in his position as a corrections officer by day. He attends college at night to try and elevate himself away from a job he doesn’t like. He would prefer the counseling stage instead of the corrections one he finds himself in. Having this type of schedule is difficult, and at times, he becomes challenged.
The Thank you Mind Chart
| Mind Chatter | The Response Game |
| I won’t finish my degree. | Great. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate the great outlook. |
| I won’t be a good counselor. I should drop out. | WOW! That’s really supportive. Thanks. |
| I will always be a corrections officer. | Yeah, this is really going to help me do better and go places. Thanks a lot. |
Thank yous to your mind will help you keep from taking those thought seriously. When you do take them seriously, you have a chance to actually believe them.
To complete this exercise:
- Record the negative mind chatter you hear.
- In the left column, record those thoughts.
- In the right column, record one response that makes light of the thought.
| Mind Chatter | The Response Game |
There are other ways to play back. You can sing simple childhood songs or try to change the voices to celebrities or people in your life. Anyway you do it, make it fun. It will be hard to believe something that is a little humorous.
My reflections
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Acceptance Time
Taking the time to go to New Mexico and the Sandia Mountains with an elevation of 10000 feet can help you take advantage of the snow and skiing opportunities available. This particular area has a parking lot that is usually plowed, however, we saw someone who was been stuck in a snow bank. The owner of the car said a few choice words as he revved the tires incessantly.
We were reminded about what we wrote here. Acceptance. If you can accept where you are, you can get to where you want. Gradually we saw the driver of the recognize this and slowly began rock the car and eventually made his way out.
When you are faced with this type of insurmountable obstacle, the best advice we can offer is to slow down, take a moment to regroup, and when things are right, push ahead for success. How does this fit with anxiety and depression? The easiest way to explain this recognition. If you can recognize these feelings as having validity, you will be more prepared to handle these feelings later in your life’s situations.
You should be able to feel good, just not all the time. You need to have variations in moods to appreciate the good things in your life. If you can’t accept worry, how can you understand the word calm?
Examine negative things in your life with a matter of fact approach. Objectively seeking the understanding of your anxiety or depression will help you accept these feelings and as a result, lessen the impact those negative feelings may have upon you.
Review the following example to better see how you can achieve this. In this example test subject is trying to renew his license. He hates crowds and sees there is only one person waiting on the four people in line. When one of the people starts to argue with the attendant, he begins to fear he won’t be able to get lunch before going back to his office.
Accepting with emotions
- What are your current emotions? Do you have any physical manifestations? Sweating, upset stomache, tightness? Write what you are feeling right now.
What I am feeling is a tension that causes me to move constantly. I am unable to remain still, and the muscles in my neck and shoulders are aching. My blood is moving fast because my heart is pumping fast.
- What are any of the changes in your feelings? Do they remain the same or do they change? Are there wide variations of highs and lows?
I now can see the level and intensity of these physical elements come and go. They cycle every few minutes. I can see they may be decreasing in intensity with my awareness level.
- How long will this last? Make a guess.
I think they will go away shortly. Once I leave this place.
- Can you just observe the thoughts in your mind with feeling them? They seem to disappear if you do not let them act upon you. Wave them goodbye.
Strangely enough, I can seem to see that being late is horrible, and the person arguing is quite silly for doing this, however, in the big picture, there is nothing really to worry about.
- Predict how long they will stay?
I feel them going away rather quickly now I understand what they are.
If you ever sense you are losing control of any feelings that are not “good”, take the time to relive this exercise and write down all of your reactions and thoughts. If you can’t remember the exact questions, just remember you want to look at things with an objective, not subjective point of view.
This is the worksheet for you to use in the future.
Accepting with emotions
- What are your current emotions? Do you have any physical manifestations? Sweating, upset stomache, tightness? Write what you are feeling right now. ________________________________________________________________________________
- What are any of the changes in your feelings? Do they remain the same or do they change? Are there wide variations of highs and lows? ________________________________________________________________________________
- How long will this last? Make a guess. ________________________________________________________________________________
- Can you just observe the thoughts in your mind with feeling them? ________________________________________________________________________________
- Predict how long they will stay? ________________________________________________________________________________
Key points to remember here are to accept your emotions and feelings without making judgements on what they are or how they make you feel. You are looking at this in the fashion Albert Einstein took when he helped to create the first atomic weapon: without passion or emotion.
Once you are able to overcome this obstacle you will no longer have issues with:
- Traffic jams
- Long waits or lines
- Waiting for anyone who is late
- Rejection
- Fear
- Speech making
- Illnesses
- Giving or receiving feedback
Now-This is the time
Should you move away from the past and the future? If you choose to exist in either of these arenas, you may create misery for yourself. If you begin to stagnate your existence in the “what I could have, should have, or would haves” or the “this is what I will do, could do, should do”—all you succeed in doing is validating the guilt of your past or present actions for failing to live up to the extreme ideal of who you SHOULD BE.
We ask that you model yourself after the dog who jumps into the car when the master asks him to go for a ride. The window goes down and the head goes outside enjoying the air, the breeze, and the ride. When you get to the destination, the dog jumps out of the car and begins to walk forward—until the vet’s office appears. By now the dog starts to move back and won’t move forward.
If this was you instead of the dog, the event would be listed on the calendar; the time of the event would be listed; the nature of the appointment would obsess you for days or weeks; finally, you would get to the appointment after creating tension and stress for you.
Take the time to enjoy the experience of the here and now. You need to become more involved with what is happening here, right now. Stop and take five minutes to perform the exercise below. See how you feel and how quickly you can relax.
Present moment Worksheet
- Get comfortable and sit in your favorite position or piece of furniture. (choose anywhere)
- In your position, make sure to keep your legs apart-should width should be fine.
- Place your hands somewhere on your body or torso so you can feel how your breath goes in and out. Keep your breathing shallow and easy paced.
- If you start to become very comfortable, you may close your eyes and just think about taking your breathes in and out.
- If you have random thoughts, let them float around. Just breathe and relax.
- Don’t talk, don’t move. The secret to this exercise is to not make any movement-don’t itch those scratchy parts that just show up. The urge will go away.
- Keep quiet for a full five minutes. IF any of your muscles tense up, try to feel the intensity and see how it goes away.
Once you complete this, yes, you guessed it—record your observations.
My reflections
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You can overcome the burdens of activities with your mind—provided you eliminate judgments and emotions. Try to locate specific actions during the day when you can relax and enjoy the time. Eating offers one great event you can monitor. The event is not as important as your performing the task.
If you choose to do this at meal time, you can use the following example.
Eating with Purpose
- What are you going to eat? Can you see the varied shapes and colors? How intense are the colors and can you see the texture?
- What does this smell like? Sweet, tart, spicy, citrus, what?
- If you take a small piece and taste it-what is the flavor?
- Can you take the time to move the food around your mouth with your tongue? What is your mouth doing—salivating, urge to chew?
- When you do chew, does the flavor get stronger, do the textures change?
- Allow the food to break apart. Slowly swallow.
- State the process all over with another piece of food.
My reflections
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