Finding the Origin With Anxiety And Depression

• Biology of the mind
• History and you
• What is happening now
• Fault or no fault

Keep in mind you are probably feeling a bit depressed or anxious. You probably are not aware of where they are coming from (origin outside of a person), but it is important to understand the importance of family, genetics, personal history, lifestyle (including stressors), and biology. Through reading this you will recognize the ultimate source of your problem and remove the self-blame you may feel.

The major causes of depression and anxiety were already mentioned; many people do begin to feel as if are to blame for falling victim to this level of distress. However, when the true nature of their problems comes to light, the overwhelming feelings of guilt slowly disappear.

Connecting your body to depression

What else runs in families besides cowards? Depression and anxiety do. Chances are if your Uncle Chet suffered from depression, you or someone in your family will more than likely have it. The specific body make up of genes can also influence your emotional responses.

One of the easiest things to do is talk to your family members. Usually, most family members will share what they know. Question to ask: were there any family members on either side that suffered from anxiety or depression? Again, just because there is 1 or 10 relatives with these symptoms it does not mean you will have it. However, it does offer a baseline approach to help understand the tendencies you may have for depression or anxiety.

List of members in your family with depression or anxiety:

Keep in mind that besides genetics, there are some biological components that involve the drugs you take, whether legal or illegal, or the influences of physical illness. Many drugs-over the counter, prescription, or illegal-have many side effects. Looking for why you have depression or anxiety may be as easy as looking into your cupboards.

Medications can change your emotions-negatively or positively. Make sure to talk with your pharmacist if you would like to know more about how your medication can affect your mental health. Don’t stop taking your medication without consulting your primary care physician first.

If you mix alcohol with drugs OR consume alcohol by itself, this could increase your chances for suffering depression or anxiety. If you abuse alcohol the chances for influencing your problems are greatly increased.  There could be mild to harmful, even deadly, side effects from mixing alcohol and drugs.

Taking illegal drugs such marijuana, cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, ecstasy or others only alter your mindset for short periods of time. The problem however, is the reality of the real world enters back all too quickly.

In a perfect world, no one would suffer illnesses. However, the physical afflictions of being ill itself can create an anxious or depressive state. Often just the fact you are worrying about being ill can cause additional stressors in your life. Make sure to keep your primary care physician in the loop.

Tossing out a Lifeline

The past is often a cause for some of your sadness. Keep in mind the old adage you sow what you reap; this is quite true with depression and anxiety as well. Locating your Emotional Origins can help you revisit your past history. This is not an easy process and may involve dredging up highly charged emotions. If you get to a point where you are too uncomfortable, it may be desirable to seek the attention of a mental health expert.

Sample Emotional Origin

Questions about Mother

1. What was your mother’s personality like?
   1. My mother was self-centered and thought very little about what my sister and I needed. As things didn’t go her way, she threw temper tantrums. She was incredibly dominant and uptight. Tragically she was a perfectionist and discussed the “right or wrong way” of doing things. She made herself out to be a martyr.
2. How did my mother discipline me?
   1. She mostly yelled at us. She ground us, however we could talk our way out of it. There was not much trouble for me because she didn’t see me break the rules.
3. Was my mother warm or cold?
   1. Often it felt as if she did care about us; other times it seemed as if she didn’t care at all.
4. Was she overly critical or supportive
   1. Inconsistent actions showed she was both. I was encouraged to do things, but then she would criticize my choices. I didn’t know what to expect.
5. How did she spend time with me?
   1. I don’t recall much time with my mother. She did act as Den mother for my Cub Scout troop. She seemed to spend more time concerned about herself than me.
6. Were there special circumstances in her life?
   1. My mother did have a miscarriage when I was younger. There was some depression shown by her after that for several years.
7. Does anything else important come to mind about her? Negative or positive are important.
   1. She never was happy with her life. She was absolutely furious with my dad quite a few times.

Questions about Father or other caregiver

1. What was your father’s personality like?
   1. Everyone like him. He was extremely funny. I don’t think I knew him well.
2. How did my father discipline me?
   1. Mom was the discipline power in the family. My dad just exploded from time to time.
3. Was my father warm or cold?
   1. I guess he was warm, but now it seems superficial. I don’t remember him saying I love you.
4. Was he overly critical or supportive?
   1. He wasn’t. I didn’t get a lot of attention. It seemed to be my sister who had his attention. I just didn’t seem good enough.
5. How did he spend time with me?
   1. When smaller, I would roughhouse or wrestle. He worked long hours and wasn’t really home.
6. Were there special circumstances in his life?
   1. Nothing I can remember. The outside world thought we were ordinary
7. Does anything else important come to mind about him? Negative or positive are important.
   1. If I could not do something, he would be very angry over nothing.

Earliest Questions about Child Hood

1. What are the earliest memories you have?
   1. I don’t remember much. My grandpa took us horseback riding. This was fun. I also remember my mom and dad fighting about money. I was scared.
2. Did I have sibling or other people in the home who had an influence on me?
   1. I look up to my older sister, but she lost interest in me after junior high. My mom and dad liked her best, at least Dad did. I just couldn’t compete.
3. What do I remember about grade school? Grades, feelings, friends, etc.
   1. I was really shy but thought I did well in school. I didn’t have many friends; I guess we were nerds.
4. What do I remember about middle school or junior high?
   1. I was shyer during these times. It seemed like I was awkward and clumsy. I was not invited anywhere. I wasn’t happy. If I was upset, my mother would do some of my homework, and then make me feel guilty about it.
5. What do I remember about high school?
   1. I had a few more friend as I started dating. If the girl broke up with me, I got pretty depressed. I hid in my room for many hours. I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and I withdraw. I stopped working once I earned Bs. I could have been more successful at school.
6. What are the major events of adulthood including trauma or winning the lottery?
   1. I graduated from college, was married, and had a few kids. I divorced after 14 years but made it through ok.
7. What did this exercise teach me about the origins of my anxiety or depression?
   1. When I look back at my childhood, it was not very happy. My dad didn’t seem to care, my mother cared more but she was an emotional roller coaster. I did seem to shut down and now realize it has happened most of my life. I do it when I am unhappy.  I guess I know I am not responsible for my depression alone. I understand rejection, criticism or someone being angry with me causes me to shut down.

1. What was my mother’s personality like?
2. How did my mother discipline me?
3. Was my mother warm or cold?
4. Was she overly critical or supportive?
5. How did she spend time with me?
6. Were there special circumstances (for example, illness, death,  divorce, military service, etc.)?
7. Does anything else important about her come  to mind, whether positive or negative?

Questions About Father (or other important caregiver)

1. What was my father’s personality like?
2. How did my father discipline me?
3. Was my father warm or cold?
4. Was he overly critical or supportive?
5. How did he spend time with me?
6. Were there special circumstances (for example, illness, death, divorce, military service, etc.)?
7. Does anything else important about him come  to mind, whether positive or negative?

Other Questions About Childhood

1. What are my earliest memories?
2. Did I have  siblings or other  people in the home  who influenced me, and how?
3. What do I remember about  grade  school? (Was I happy; what did I think  about myself;  how did I do in school;  what were  my friendships like; were  there  any important events?)
4. What do I remember about  middle school or junior high school? (Was I happy; what did I think about myself;  how did I do in school;  what were  my friendships like; were there  any important events?)
5. What do I remember about high school? (Was I happy; what did I think about myself;  how did I do in school;  what were  my friendships like; were  there  any important events?)
6. What are the major events of my adulthood, such as trauma or winning the lottery?
7. What did this exercise teach me about  the origins  of my anxiety or depression?

Emotional Origins

Questions About Mother (or other caregiver)

1. What was my mother’s  personality like?
2. How did my mother  discipline me?
3. Was my mother  warm or cold?
4. Was she overly critical  or supportive?
5. How did she spend  time with me?
6. Were there special circumstances (for example, illness, death, divorce, military service, etc.)?
7. Does anything else important about her come  to mind, whether positive or negative?

 Questions About Father (or other important caregiver)

1. What was my father’s personality like?
2. How did my father discipline me?
3. Was my father warm or cold?
4. Was he overly critical or supportive?
5. How did he spend time with me?
6. Were there special circumstances (for example, illness, death, divorce, military service, etc.)?
7. Does anything else important about him come  to mind, whether positive or negative?

Other Questions About Childhood

1. What are my earliest memories?
2. Did I have siblings or other people in the home  who influenced me, and how?
3. What do I remember about grade  school? (Was I happy; what did I think about myself;  how did I do in school;  what were  my friendships like; were  there  any important events?)
4. What do I remember about middle school or junior high school? (Was I happy; what did I think about myself; how did I do in school; what were my friendships like; were there any important events?)
5. What do I remember about high school? (Was I happy; what did I think about myself;  how did I do in school;  what were  my friendships like; were  there  any important events?)
6.  What are the major events of my adulthood, such as trauma or winning the lottery?
7.  What did this exercise teach  me about  the origins  of my anxiety or depression?