- Finding your fears
- Addressing your fear items
- Blocking obsessions and compulsions
So you think you have fear? Anxiety? How can we help you say and how does fear relate to depression and anxiety? If you examine fear, it is a smaller component of anxiety that can lead to the appearance of depression.
Whenever you see or feel things that make you uneasy, you may experience fear or anxiety. One thing to remember, if you don’t like enclosed spaces, don’t ride an elevator. The simple solution is to avoid those actions that could lead to your anxiety.
Avoidance however only finds the way to increase the power of the fear and makes the feeling much more intense. If you make the decision to avoid an event, the emotional release of relief feels pretty good, considering the alternative. However, you just gave yourself a bonus for not doing the right thing. You have been able to reward your actions every time you allow this to happen. The next time you are faced with this choice, you will perform the same action again and again.
Here we will examine some common fears and teach you how to climb to the top of your fear. We will also help you to understand OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders), explain how it is treated, and what makes this different/similar to other disorders.
Why worry About Anxiety And Depression?
Most of us do have some items that create panic or worry for us. Having a few small ones is okay; however if you allow your mind to control your body foolishly, there is a problem. This is the time to create an action to overcome this.
Some specific fears
- Illness/germs
- Groups of people
- Planes
- Spiders
- Feelings of out of control
- Outside your house
- Tall places
- Enclosed places
- Mice or rodents
- Speech making
- Appliances being on
- Storms
- Loneliness
- Water and drowing
- Sharks
- Sexual inadequacies
- Sickness in public
- Being rejected
- Buried alive
- Getting any disease
- Chemicals or raditions
- Cats
- Dogs
- Horses
- No money
- Telephones
- Stating stupid things
- Blood pressure cuffs
- Needles and injections
- Doctors
- Dentists
- Busy highways
- Meeting people
- Travel
- Trains
- Jobs interviews
- Blood
- Large open areas
- Eating out side
- Surgery
If you noticed any fears, don’t worry you are not alone. The best way to overcome those fears is to embrace those fears.
| My Big Five Fears |
| 1. |
| 2. |
| 3. |
| 4. |
| 5. |
If you can determine the simple fears are not worth the time or trouble, that is okay. The areas you must look at is can you live with those fears. Only you can make the decision if living with those fears is worthwhile.
Your twirling staircase of fear.
If you look at your fears, pick one-the one that you most likely would like to remove from yourself. We will teach you to look at it head on.
We will help you learn the exposure technique to bring your fear to a manageable level through a step process. Don’t take the next step until the entire current process has been commended.
Exposure techniques can benefit all on real or imaginary levels. Keep in mind the real events are not easier to create because you cannot create specific events to correlate with your need to overcome those fears.
In the following exercise, watch our sample individual confront their own Fear Staircase.
The individual is quite shy with women. He can handle the relationships with those of his same sex; he just cannot move past the fact face to face communication with the opposite sex is tough. Our subject wants to move forward in this area.
Emotion and Fear Staircase
- Where does your fear start? Can you feel the anxiety as well?
I can’t pick up a phone. It scares me and I don’t know why. I just wish I could overcome the problems being out in the open causes.
- What are you planning to avoid?
This individual obviously has not had a date in a good long time. He even tries to avoid them on the bus, the lunchroom, etc. I find myself using strange excuses to avoid going out.
- Are there any other events that your fear could influence negatively?
I hate relationships. The people involved right now scare me. What am I supposed to do or say? The last date I had was too many years ago and I was hurt fairly badly.
- What types of tools or techniques do you use? Any drugs or alcohol? What about the influence of people? Any specific plans or actions planned right now.
When things get to rough for this individual, a prescription drug has been given that allows for some quiet thought. I avoid any group activity for the most part
- What may be some of the bad situations you may find yourself in as a result of your fears?
When I try to ask someone out, I am fearful I will make a fool of myself and create more embarrassment for myself. I am sure many physical manifestations will happen. I know if someone were to be asked, I would expect to be embarrassed.
This individual, when done with this small exercise takes the information and inputs it into the Fear and Emotions chart.
Staircase of Fear
| Feared Activity | Fear measure 0(no fear)to 100 (pure terror) |
| Asking for a date face to face | 85 |
| Calling for a date by phone | 75 |
| Have a conversation with someone I don’t know. | 65 |
| Eating lunch in the lunch room | 35 |
| When I asked someone out, I had to pick them up. | 90 |
| A female clerk helps me to find something | 25 |
| What type of party is this going to be? | 70 |
| You ask someone for a date and are turned down. | 45 |
| Volunteering a the charity and seeing the large numbers of women? | 60 |
| Going to the singles club | 80 |
| Taking the time to volunteer and going to meetings. | 55 |
This is how one should arrange the fears. The higher fears at the top, with the lowers ones at the bottom.
- Asking for a date face to face (90)
- Asking for a date face to face (85)
- Calling for a date by phone (75)
- Going to the singles club (75)
- Have a conversation with someone I don’t know. (65)
- Volunteering a the charity and seeing the large numbers of women? (60)
- Taking the time to volunteer and going to meetings. (55)
- You ask someone for a date and are turned down. (45)
- Eating lunch in the lunch room (35)
- A female clerk helps me to find something (25)
Here is your opportunity to record your fears.
Emotion and Fear Staircase
- Where does your fear start? Can you feel the anxiety as well?
- What are you planning to avoid?
- Are there any other events that your fear could influence negatively?
- What types of tools or techniques do you use? Any drugs or alcohol? What about the influence of people? Any specific plans or actions planned right now.
- What may be some of the bad situations you may find yourself in as a result of your fears?
How to arrange your Staircase Fears
In this segment, you will take six to twenty items you have fears about. Rank each one on a sliding scale of 1-100. If you have items that are large gaps between them, try to fill in the gaps more.
| Feared Activity | Fear measure 0(no fear)to 100 (pure terror) |
Once you have completed this list of fears, it is time to create your own staircase. Use the following chart to help you complete this. Make sure to evenly space your stairs based upon the ranking you established.
Going up
This is the time to face all the fears you have discovered in your life. Don’t worry, it will be hard, but you can take the time to focus on each one and help to remove these from your life.
Just keep it slow and steady. Don’t push yourself too far or too fast. If you think you are in trouble, make sure to contact a mental health provider.
For this exercise we will use our previous example.
The purpose behind this exercise is to help you take steps and make progress in reducing the fear measure for each area. Try to perform the actions multiple times to reduce the fear and make observations. In our example, see the notes.
TOP EXERCISE
| Feared Activity | Fear measure 0(no fear)to 100 (pure terror) |
| Asking for a date face to face | 85, 80, 70, 55, 40, 35, 20 I can do this. |
| Calling for a date by phone | 75, 60, 55, 50, 35 I can see myself getting to this. |
| Have a conversation with someone I don’t know. | 30, 30, 25, 20, 20, 15, 10, 10: This was tougher than I thought it would be at first, but it got to be kind of fun. |
| Eating lunch in the lunch room | 20, 20, 15 A simple fix |
| When I asked someone out, I had to pick them up. | 90, 80, 80, 75, 70, 70, 65, It will take time, but maybe I can get through this |
| A female clerk helps me to find something | 25, 20, 10, piece of cake |
| What type of party is this going to be? | 70, 60, 55, 45, 30, 25 How could this have been tough? |
| You ask someone for a date and are turned down. | 45, 40, 40, 35, 35, 25 well, I am alive |
| Volunteering a the charity and seeing the large numbers of women? | 60, 55, 45, 40, 35 slowly I will get there |
| Going to the singles club | 80, 70, 60, 60, 55, 55, this is tough, I am tougher |
| Taking the time to volunteer and going to meetings. | 55, 50, 45, 45, 40 Slow going, but worth it |
Now that we have done this with our sample individual, make sure to follow the same path and perform your own Top Exercise.
Top Exercise
| Feared Activity | Fear measure 0(no fear)to 100 (pure terror) |
Take your time to perform this and you will get through this. Avoid any medications or alcohol. Take only those medication necessary to make sure you do not use them as crutches to get you to this point. Taking time to expose your fears takes time. You have all you need.
My reflections
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OCD, Wait did we tell you OCD…..OCD…OCD…OCD….OCD…..
Obsessive compulsive disorder has its own challenges. There are some emotional components that require extreme levels of time and patience if you are a loved one.
The focus on obsessions helps us to understand the various items that run through the mind of an OCD personality: thoughts, pictures, visualizations, etc. There is no rhyme or reason on these items. They may involve fear of these items or needing to constantly check those items. Control seems to be lost by those with OCD. Occasionally, those with OCD may hurt loved ones, exhibit extreme sex behaviors, or violate personal or cultural belief systems.
With the compulsion element added, this person finds themselves needing to repeat specific actions over and over and over again just to try and reduce the personal level of distress. Many individuals exhibit hand washing, rearranging items, consistently checking the same items over and over, and other types of repeating behaviors known as rituals.
You yourself may have some select compulsions. Don’t worry as this is completely natural. What should concern you is if these few areas of concern become an integral part of your lifestyle and begin to create problems with your relationships, job, school, or even within yourself. If this should happen, seek treatment immediately as it can be dangerous if left unchecked.
How to overcome obsessions
The obsessions you may be experiencing or have are created within your imagination or mind. This is a safe spot for many of the obsessions one may have—you are more than likely unable to act out those obsessions in your mind.
Caution: if you feel like you need to hurt someone or want to act out non-traditional, unacceptable sexual behaviors, contact your mental health provider or primary care physician.
Because obsessions are singularly focused, you do not need to have the elaborate setup fears require.
Obsession Listing
- What is your obsession-make sure to explain the distress level and the specific image. _________________________________________________________________________________
- Rank the level of distress you have from 0 to 100 (low to high). _________
- Make sure to get a comfortable spot and sit to perform this.
- Repeat the main thought……and keep repeating it…..and again.
- Make sure to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes on this—or longer if needed to reduce your level of distress at least 20 to 30 points.
- Now re-rate your distress._______
This simple process of overcoming obsessions and compulsions is different that what OCD individuals are asked to do. If you try to suppress your OCD type thoughts, you will find they won’t stay subdued. They continue to push forward again and again. They just keep coming.
Try this: whatever you do—don’t think about a nice juicy steak with fried mushrooms and a fresh baked potato. If you don’t think about this nice juicy steak with steak sauce—we will let you have anything you want…….See if you can keep it from your mind. Did you succeed?
Compulsions—keep them away
Compulsions are similar to fears. If you get them to a specific level of exposure, you can being the process of ridding yourself of them. With compulsions, however, you need to understand you just can’t expose the problems of the activities-YOU MUST LEARN TO STOP DOING THEM. The proper terminology for ceasing those compulsions is: exposure and response prevention. Follow the example below for how this works.
In this example, the individual continuously washes their hands—to such an extent that 3 to 4 hours a day is spent in this activity. Germs are one of the enemies here as well as the fear of being sick. This creates additional hardship by wasted time and physical injury.
Top Exercise
| Feared Activity | Fear measure 0(no fear)to 100 (pure terror) |
| Trying on clothes at the store | 30, 20, 15, 10 I couldn’t do it. The germs were everywhere, but I tried and move past it |
| Touching money without gloves | 35, 30, 40, 20, 25, 30, 20, 25, 15 I don’t know if I can continue, but I am making some progress |
| Doorknobs being turned with bare hands | 55, 55, 60, 65, 55, 45, 65, 55, 60 , 30, 40 I can’t move past this too easily. I must try |
| Touching handrails on stairs or escalators | 75, 70, 75, 80, 65, 60, 65, 55 I can get there. It will take some time. |
This is an excellent way to try to move through your compulsions and obsessions. Just try to keep a small time delay between your behaviors. We suggest at least 25 to 30 minutes from end to starting the compulsion. Try making minute changes—different shampoos, different arrangements, etc.
My reflections
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